<-- 10:22 PM MT -->
He turned and opened a drawer behind him, pulling out a gray machine I wasn't familiar with. "This device should do the trick," he said jovially as he snapped on two new latex gloves. I lay back on the examining table, the vinyl top sticking to the moist flesh of my back. My shirt lay discarded and crumpled on floor carpetted in slate gray with red specks. I tilted my head back and closed my eyes as he approached. I felt him set the machine, heavy and cold, on my chest, heard the whine of the motors starting up, rising in pitch and volume, felt the dull sensation of it boring into my chest. I breathed hard and deep, biting my lip harder and deeper until it finally bled, desperately trying to stifle a cry of agony as it tunneled deeper and deeper and deeper into me. Cold. Cold. Cold at the moment of resignation when it all ended.
I don't feel a thing.
<-- 8:19 PM MT -->
I want you to feel my hate. I am running water. I am pouring rain. A river filled with rage, rushing to your ocean. You started my flowing. You set my path downhill in your direction. You can't stop it now. I will reach your shore in a rush of pure hatred and rage.
2 fucking years I gave to you. 2 years I invested in a life I thought was my future. I couldn't see past the mask of love you wore around me. I couldn't see the evil bitch hiding behind it. All at once you were revealed and you stoped talking to me. A dam in my river. But a dam can't hold forever. It must release a little bit or it will break. You gave nothing, and now I am flowing once again.
Now you act like nothing happened between us. Like you no longer care. You paint a face over your mask to fool your friends. They think you were using me. I know better. You know better. Your coldness is just another way for you to hide from your true feelings. You tried to freeze my river. But the winter won't last forever. I am flowing yet again. Ever onwards towards you.
Now you think moving will solve all your problems. Your friends have seen who you really are. You no longer have the envy you demand. In a jaded world you call home, your dreams of reality are dissolving before your eyes. My course is no longer as clear as it once was. But faithful, my river's course is still set. Like nothing else the river is able to forge a path where no path existed. Wearing away at the earth to reach it's desired final point.
We will meet again one day. All my rage will poor into you like a dam at the edge of an ocean. Those walls you built around your pathetic little world are weak at best. I will wear away at those walls. You will finally know my rage. You will finally feel my hurt. And I promise you, you will know just what you gave up.
So enjoy your protected little world. I am moving. Always moving. We will meet again. Prepare.
I think I want to light something on fire...
He turned and opened a drawer behind him, pulling out a gray machine I wasn't familiar with. "This device should do the trick," he said jovially as he snapped on two new latex gloves. I lay back on the examining table, the vinyl top sticking to the moist flesh of my back. My shirt lay discarded and crumpled on floor carpetted in slate gray with red specks. I tilted my head back and closed my eyes as he approached. I felt him set the machine, heavy and cold, on my chest, heard the whine of the motors starting up, rising in pitch and volume, felt the dull sensation of it boring into my chest. I breathed hard and deep, biting my lip harder and deeper until it finally bled, desperately trying to stifle a cry of agony as it tunneled deeper and deeper and deeper into me. Cold. Cold. Cold at the moment of resignation when it all ended.
I don't feel a thing.
<-- 8:19 PM MT -->
I want you to feel my hate. I am running water. I am pouring rain. A river filled with rage, rushing to your ocean. You started my flowing. You set my path downhill in your direction. You can't stop it now. I will reach your shore in a rush of pure hatred and rage.
2 fucking years I gave to you. 2 years I invested in a life I thought was my future. I couldn't see past the mask of love you wore around me. I couldn't see the evil bitch hiding behind it. All at once you were revealed and you stoped talking to me. A dam in my river. But a dam can't hold forever. It must release a little bit or it will break. You gave nothing, and now I am flowing once again.
Now you act like nothing happened between us. Like you no longer care. You paint a face over your mask to fool your friends. They think you were using me. I know better. You know better. Your coldness is just another way for you to hide from your true feelings. You tried to freeze my river. But the winter won't last forever. I am flowing yet again. Ever onwards towards you.
Now you think moving will solve all your problems. Your friends have seen who you really are. You no longer have the envy you demand. In a jaded world you call home, your dreams of reality are dissolving before your eyes. My course is no longer as clear as it once was. But faithful, my river's course is still set. Like nothing else the river is able to forge a path where no path existed. Wearing away at the earth to reach it's desired final point.
We will meet again one day. All my rage will poor into you like a dam at the edge of an ocean. Those walls you built around your pathetic little world are weak at best. I will wear away at those walls. You will finally know my rage. You will finally feel my hurt. And I promise you, you will know just what you gave up.
So enjoy your protected little world. I am moving. Always moving. We will meet again. Prepare.
I think I want to light something on fire...
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